


i was built to carry all your feelings (all your worries can be put to sleep)

by wordsasweapons



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Family, Gen, because i love this family so much, this just sort of happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 16:00:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4398212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordsasweapons/pseuds/wordsasweapons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She walks and walks, humming along to the beat of her own feet hitting the pavement. She turns a corner, and that's when she sees a flash of yellow, or white, she's not sure. She looks around her, before hearing the sounds of footsteps approaching. She ducks around the corner, peering just enough around to try to get a look. A girl, with long, curly blonde hair, comes walking down the road. The girl stops, crouches down and crawls through a hole in the fencing, and she waits. She waits for while, hoping the girl will come back out. But she doesn't, and it's getting late and she needs to be home before mum starts worrying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i was built to carry all your feelings (all your worries can be put to sleep)

**Author's Note:**

> AU where a teenage Sarah Manning comes across Helena during one of her long walks, and she takes it upon herself to do anything to keep her safe, and decides the only way to do that is to bring her home with her. Basically Sarah/Helena bonding, Sarah/Siobhan and family fluff in general.

It's cold, windy, and even the light rain falling feels like daggers against her skin. Fingers hovering over the keypad of her phone, before deciding against calling home and asking to be picked up. She'll walk, taking the long way back. She pulls the hood of her jacket over her head and tucks her hands into the front pockets and turns down a back road, the noise of the school and her classmates fading into the distance and all that's left is the sound of the rain hitting the pavement.

 

She walks and walks, humming along to the beat of her own feet hitting the pavement. She turns a corner, and that's when she sees a flash of yellow, or white, she's not sure. She looks around her, before hearing the sounds of footsteps approaching. She ducks around the corner, peering just enough around to try to get a look. A girl, with long, curly blonde hair, comes walking down the road. The girl stops, crouches down and crawls through a hole in the fencing, and she waits. She waits for while, hoping the girl will come back out. But she doesn't, and it's getting late and she needs to be home before mum starts worrying.

 

She goes back to that same spot, everyday, for the rest of the week. She's not exactly sure why, or why this is important. Mum always said she was a little too curious, and maybe that's it. The curiosity.

 

She waits around the corner for the girl, deciding today is the day she's going to approach her and nip this fascination in the bud. She hears those oddly familiar footsteps approaching, and she steps away from her hiding spot. The girl turns towards her, and she's suddenly struck with how... similar she is. To herself. She looks just like her, and the girl is looking back at her with the same shock, and wonder in her eyes.

 

She finally shakes herself out of it, clearing her throat. "Hi... hi, I don't want to scare you, or hurt you, I just..."

 

  
"You are the one who follows me. You come everyday." the other girl says. She has an accent. Russian? Some kind of Eastern European accent? The girl takes a step towards her, and she's frozen in place.

 

"Who are you? What is your name?"

 

"Sarah... my name is Sarah."

 

The girl just eyes her for what feels like an eternity until she steps back, her lips twisting into a lopsided grin.

 

"Hello Sarah." and Sarah finds herself returning the grin. The other girl looks around, at nothing, before settling back on Sarah.

 

"Why do you follow me, Sarah?" and she's not exactly sure how to answer that without sounding like a creep, like a stalker who follows people down back roads.

 

"I... I'm not sure. I can't explain it, really..." she pauses, looking at the girl for a moment before asking the question she really wants an answer to, "Why do you come here? Why don't you go home?"

 

The girl looks away from her, shifting uncomfortably and Sarah feels guilty all of sudden. The girls features shift into a look of longing, and desperation.

 

"I do not have a home, Sarah." And that guilt takes over completely, the feeling of knowing exactly what it's like to not have a home, or anywhere you belong. And then Sarah is struck with an idea, it's crazy, she doesn't know this girl at all, and this idea just might get her into a world of trouble but the words are falling from her lips before she can even stop herself.

 

"Come with me. You should... come with me." she's mumbling and the girl is giving her a funny look and the silence between them stretches on. The girl starts playing with the sleeves of the long, green coat she's wearing. She's biting her lip and looking between the hole in the fence and Sarah.

 

"You don't know me. I don't know you."

 

"Tell me your name." she says quickly, so quickly the girl flinched slightly at her enthusiasm. The girl tilts her head, eyeing Sarah for a long moment once again before stepping forward and offering her hand.

 

"Helena. It is... nice to meet you." and she's giggling and Sarah is laughing along with her, taking her hand and giving it a soft shake.

 

"Nice to meet you, Helena."

~~~

  
For the next week, Sarah continues to go back and see Helena. Sarah promised her she would, promised her she would talk to her and get to know her and she hopes and hopes that just maybe, Helena will trust her enough to let Sarah take her back to her home. Sarah wants so desperately to give her a safe, warm place to be. She still hasn't told her mum about Helena, or her brother. She's not exactly sure how she would approach them about bringing a girl she met on the street into their home. But she continues to visit Helena, everyday after school. She brings her half of her lunches, and learns Helena has a taste for odd food combinations, and a great love of food in general. She learns Helena came from the Ukraine, though she doesn't go into much detail about her life there or how she ended up here. Maybe she's not ready for that, and Sarah doesn't push her. Helena asks her about herself, and Sarah shares her story. How she was an orphan who finally found her place within a family and is slowly learning that she does have a meaningful place in this world. She tells her about her mum, and her brother, Felix. Helena just looks at her with such wonder when she speaks, it's almost overwhelming. They don't talk about how they look exactly like the other. Sarah thinks sometimes that should be an alarming fact that she should be questioning first and foremost, but she doesn't. She likes Helena, and Helena likes her. And she hasn't felt this kind of connection with another person since she gained a mother and a brother.

 

It's the first day of the third week Sarah visits Helena, when she finally tells Sarah about her life in the Ukraine and it's dark, it's painful and Sarah hates and hates the people who put Helena through so much pain. Helena tells her about how she escaped, and how she put one of the nuns eyes out and she says it with such joy, Sarah can't help but laugh just thinking about it. Helena's sitting cross legged and laughing and it's a ridiculous laugh and Sarah loves it. Eventually the laughter fades and Sarah looks at Helena and decides she'll ask one more time.

 

"Will you come back with me?" she's hopeful, so hopeful. Helena looks away and down at the ground, something Sarah has picked up on as Helena's way of thinking hard about something. She's about to tell her forget it, she shouldn't push her when Helena interrupts her thoughts.

 

"I will come."

 

And that's how Helena ends up spending every night, sneaking in with Sarah through her bedroom window and spending nights curled up together in bed talking, talking, talking. It's good, and Sarah feels like she's done something right for once. She's keeping someone safe. It's a little naive to think she would get away with it forever, when one night she and Helena are laughing just a little too loudly and there's a knock on the door before it opens and her mum peaks her head in.

 

"Sarah, Felix, you can't be up all night messin--"

 

Her mom freezes, because it's not her brother at all, it's someone else entirely and Sarah jumps out of bed and runs over to the door.

 

"It's... I'm sorry, I just..." she's not finding the right words or the right thing to say, and her mum's eyes are locked on Helena for a moment before falling to her.

 

"Sarah..." her mother sighs, that always calm, soothing Irish accent filling the space between them.

 

"Mum, I..."

 

"Quiet," She pauses, looking down the hall towards Felix's room. "We don't want to wake your brother. Come downstairs. We'll have a cup of tea, and we'll talk." Sarah exhales and whispers a soft 'thank you' and her mothers mouth pulls up into a soft smile, before turning and walking down the stairs. Sarah stands there and breathes slowly, listening to the muffled movements of her mother in the kitchen for a while before turning back to Helena, who's sitting up in bed looking back at her.

 

"I'll be back, please don't... don't go anywhere, yeah?" Helena just nods in response and Sarah gives her a half smile before stepping out of the room and down the stairs, into the kitchen and joining her mother at the table. A hot cup of tea is waiting for her, and her mother's warm, comforting eyes looking back at her.

 

"So, chicken," she drawls, "tell me about it."

~~~

 

Sarah props her elbow on the table, her head resting in her palm, a finger circling the rim of her now empty mug.

 

"It all started one day, a few weeks ago, when I took the long way back home. I'm not sure why, but I just kept going back, everyday. Until I finally decided I'd say something. I continued to go, and we became close... and all I wanted to do was give her somewhere safe to be. I thought about telling you, but I just..." she trails off, shrugging her shoulders. She watches her mother lean over slightly, setting her mug down, her hand coming to cover her free hand resting on her knee.

 

"Sarah, I'm not upset about what you did, far from it. You know I spent years trying to help children who needed comfort and safety." Sarah feels the soft squeeze of her mother's hand, and she nods her head.

 

"I know that..."

 

"I am a little disappointed that you didn't tell me. I would have helped. How else do you think I ended up with you and Felix." Sarah lifts her head, looking at her mother and she can't help letting tears she didn't expect fall. Her mother stands, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her temple.

 

"Don't cry, love, just get on up and introduce me." Sarah chokes out a laugh, leaning into her mother's embrace.

 

"Thanks, S." Sarah looks up, meeting her mother's smile, and Siobhan nudges her gently. "Come now. She can't possibly be as bad as you were during our introduction." Sarah stands, mock shock at her words crossing her face.

 

"Oi, that's not fair." Siobhan just chuckles in response, climbing the stairs. Sarah follows after her, smiling softly at the sound and the idea of introducing her mother to Helena. She smiles at how easily S handles this, knowing full well she has every right to be furious with Sarah. Wandering off, not bothering to tell her where she goes and what she does, bringing a stranger into their home. She knows there's loads more to discuss and no doubt there'll be troubles of some kind, but she's hopeful once again.

**Author's Note:**

> well. i hope you enjoyed. first time writing for this fandom, and these characters and i now want to devote time to truly learning these characters and their voices in fic. i hope i didn't do too bad. should i continue? or stop while i'm (maybe) ahead?


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